Saturday, January 10, 2015

HEALTH - HOW TO SCAM A NIGERIAN IN 5 MINUTES.




Remember the story of Sherlock Holmes? Arguably the greatest detective of all time. I recall a story he was getting bored with solving crimes, criminals were just not smart enough! He felt he could do a better job as a criminal and never be caught.

In the health sector, one can easily make loads of money from the gullibility of the Nigerian public, but then, one has a conscience.

Here I was in a car workshop and this unkempt looking man comes in with a small bag and goes ahead to make a unique marketing pitch.

He was selling a local herbal concoction which he said could cure Diabetes!

In just 5 days, he said, your diabetes would be cured with this special mixture.

He spoke with such confidence, I almost believed him, then I remembered, hey! Am I not a doctor?

He even boasted he had people who could give testimonies about the potency of his concoction..

Now, I was beginning to feel bad for going to school for almost a decade and not given this simple cure for diabetes, I had to ask for a refund!

What about all the patients I keep seeing in the hospital, how come none had received this easy cure for diabetes? Surely the hospital would be deserted if this secret was known!



As if that was not enough, in his mixture was a ...ahem...how do I put it?...a...manhood stimulator. In his words, if you used it on your wife, she would drop whatever she is doing and pursue you wherever you go in dire need for more.

By this time he had a rapt audience (me inclusive).

Before he left, he had already got an interested convert who wanted to call him for more details.

(I could never be so convincing as a doctor).


The other day, I stumbled on a more refined approach at my barber shop. This time, it was a lady with a machine which could read and detect all possible problems in your body within 5 minutes! - Your heart, your kidneys, your liver, your blood, anything! My barber trustingly paid,( I think it was 500 naira) and I endured listening to her tell him a load of absolute rubbish about his health while he listened.


This leads me to a sad story; a lady with fibroids, afraid to do surgery is advised by her mother to take a herbal concoction to shrink the fibroids. The concoction went on to shrink the life out of her as she started bleeding internally and externally, her kidneys shut down completely, she developed lung problems and died before you could say Jack Robinson.

Have you been a victim of a health scam?



Image courtesy

4 comments:

  1. Well, interesting question. Does requiring one to use a particular pharmacy for the insurance and then having that pharmacy refuse to sell one the meds that have been prescribed.... does that count as a scam ?~! It does to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Lynda. Great to hear from you. Sure does!

      Delete
  2. Lol. We have lots of herbal doctors here in Uyo now. It's like all d Yoruba herbal ppl had a meeting and decided to flood our market,lol. And the weird names these concoctions have no be here plus the contents of one bottle can.cure like 5 things ,lol. I can't take shit like that abeg. And I see those ppl with portable 'machines' come around the office to check this and that for a token. OYO is their case *in Rita Dominic's voice*

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    Replies
    1. Indeed Eddy, and the confidence with which they market their products almost makes you the doctor believe them.

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