Saturday, January 10, 2015

HEALTH - HOW TO SCAM A NIGERIAN IN 5 MINUTES.




Remember the story of Sherlock Holmes? Arguably the greatest detective of all time. I recall a story he was getting bored with solving crimes, criminals were just not smart enough! He felt he could do a better job as a criminal and never be caught.

In the health sector, one can easily make loads of money from the gullibility of the Nigerian public, but then, one has a conscience.

Here I was in a car workshop and this unkempt looking man comes in with a small bag and goes ahead to make a unique marketing pitch.

He was selling a local herbal concoction which he said could cure Diabetes!

In just 5 days, he said, your diabetes would be cured with this special mixture.

He spoke with such confidence, I almost believed him, then I remembered, hey! Am I not a doctor?

He even boasted he had people who could give testimonies about the potency of his concoction..

Now, I was beginning to feel bad for going to school for almost a decade and not given this simple cure for diabetes, I had to ask for a refund!

What about all the patients I keep seeing in the hospital, how come none had received this easy cure for diabetes? Surely the hospital would be deserted if this secret was known!



As if that was not enough, in his mixture was a ...ahem...how do I put it?...a...manhood stimulator. In his words, if you used it on your wife, she would drop whatever she is doing and pursue you wherever you go in dire need for more.

By this time he had a rapt audience (me inclusive).

Before he left, he had already got an interested convert who wanted to call him for more details.

(I could never be so convincing as a doctor).


The other day, I stumbled on a more refined approach at my barber shop. This time, it was a lady with a machine which could read and detect all possible problems in your body within 5 minutes! - Your heart, your kidneys, your liver, your blood, anything! My barber trustingly paid,( I think it was 500 naira) and I endured listening to her tell him a load of absolute rubbish about his health while he listened.


This leads me to a sad story; a lady with fibroids, afraid to do surgery is advised by her mother to take a herbal concoction to shrink the fibroids. The concoction went on to shrink the life out of her as she started bleeding internally and externally, her kidneys shut down completely, she developed lung problems and died before you could say Jack Robinson.

Have you been a victim of a health scam?



Image courtesy

Friday, January 9, 2015

WHY IS THERE NO SENSE OF URGENCY IN NIGERIAN HOSPITALS? PART 1



Lol, no, that is not a picture from a Nigerian Hospital.


SCENARIO ONE
The scenario plays itself over and over again...

A man runs out of a car into the hospital reception.

'Emergency!'

'I have an emergency! Where is the doctor?' He screams.

Everybody stares at him.

'I said I have an emergency!' He repeats, agitated.

'Oga, calm down, what is the problem?' A nurse finally asks.

'Please I have an emergency.' He repeats for the fourth time.

'What happened?' The nurse asks for the second time.

The man realising he has to play by the rules tries to calm down and explain himself.


SCENARIO TWO

The man's patient has finally been admitted.

He walks to the nurses station and speaks with the nurse on duty.

'Please my relative is due for her injections.'

'Okay sir.' The nurse replies.

The man, satisfied walks back to his relative's side.

10 minutes later, he returns to the nurse, she is eating.

Trying to conceal his anger he reminds her about his patient.

As before, she replies, 'Oga calm down, I heard you the first time.'

With that she finishes her meal and follows him.


Have you had any similar experience?


Image courtesy

DAY 2: How Will I know I have Pelvic Inflammatory Disease?

Why all this fuss about PID? What is the big deal about it? It is important because it can lead to infertility or damage to a woman'...