Tuesday, November 27, 2012

IT'S HERE! FREE MEDICAL CONSULTATION.





Ever wonder why a lot of Doctors are poor?

Yeah, you got it right - free consultations.

Sadly, yours truly is a major offender.

If I was given a penny for every free consultation I have given, I'd probably be on a remote Island somewhere, sipping fruit juice under a coconut tree, being served by various butlers in black and white tuxedos.


The temptation to give free consultations comes in various forms especially via telephone and text messages; sometimes, you are even required to reply using your own credit.
Examples of questions I have been asked on the phone include:

"My son has what looks like a rash, what can I give him?"

"I have a swelling here, what do I use?"

Note, in these instances, I have no means of seeing the offending rash or swelling, nor am I given more information about it as regards the site, size or shape of the rash, but somehow, I have to provide a cure over the distance.

You could also be out in public and someone introduces you as a doctor, the next thing is, "Doctor what do you think this is?" "What can I use?"

I have decided to stop giving free consultations/ services because of my experience with two cases:

1. The case of Mr B.
Mr B works in a utility company. Lately, I have been billed ridiculously, most of the time through Mr B himself who claims not to have any say on the billing - but Mr B who is a diabetic/ hypertensive comes to my home to have his blood pressure and sugar checked and receives a new prescription, without me taking a dime from him.

2.The case of Mr E.

Mr E does some work and electric fittings for me, he is always paid in full; after his work he asks,"Dr I have this pain here, What can I take?" I am expected to give him a free prescription .

WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS EXPECT FREE CONSULTATIONS FROM DOCTORS?


1. Medicine is a ' humanitarian' profession.
This comes from the so called Hippocratic oath; reading through the original oath and the Modern version, no where did I see it written, "I shall work for free."

2. Knew you before you became a doctor: Yes, we grew up together, or went to the same college, I don't have to pay to see you or to ask your opinion do I?

3. Doctors lack of business sense.

So my new year resolution is - no more free consultations.

Are you in support? What is your take on the issue?

Image courtesy.

Monday, November 5, 2012

HUMOR: HOW NOLLYWOOD MURDERS MEDICAL SCENES





The Nigerian movie industry is one of the fastest growing in the world today, they are said to be the third largest after Hollywood and Bollywood.

I have watched some Nigerian films and I have noted some hilarious things when they act hospital scenes:

IT IS ONLY IN NOLLYWOOD THAT:


1.The doctor uses his stethoscope to check for the heartbeat on a patient's wrist.

2. Blood used for transfusion looks like Ribena, or a local drink called Zobo.

3. Primary school science charts are hung on the wall of a doctor's consulting room.

4. Bandages are tied like a turban around the head of a patient with a head injury.

5. The patient is in a coma, and is just placed on the bed, no oxygen, nothing. And he recovers.

6. The intensive care unit contains a bed and no machines.

7. The only hospital instruments are the doctor's stethoscope and the tray the nurse carries.

8. The drip is plastered to the patient's arm without a cannula.

9. The nurses always run to the doctor's office with their mouths wide open whenever there is an emergency.

10. The doctor checks the heart beat on the right side of the chest.

11. No matter how big the hospital is, there is always only one doctor on duty who somehow is a specialist in all fields of medicine.

12. Absolutely any material can be used as a hospital curtain.


I believe Nollywood is coming of age but have to do proper research when writing medical scripts.

And by the way, I am available for a small fee, if they need proper consultation when acting medical scenes.

Image courtesy.