Thursday, October 25, 2012

MEDICAL FICTION.



For those who haven't seen it, I've started a fiction blog here.

Kindly visit it and tell me what you feel.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

NO ONE TOLD ME I WOULD BE DOING THESE THINGS AS A DOCTOR...






I once thought that being a doctor was all about prescribing drugs for sick people- how wrong I was.When I started practicing, I had to learn the other functions of a doctor not taught in medical school, these include:-

1. MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR.

I've been asked one too many times to play a mediatory role between a husband and a wife: e.g this story where the husband was not faithful; and this story where the wife doubted the husband's fertility.

2. TELEPHONE OPERATOR.

We learn the art of making and receiving phone calls at the oddest of hours , and how to politely turn that patient down who calls you for a drug to treat that swelling he has that you can't see.

3. CAREER COUNSELLOR.

Everyone wants to know what it is like to be a doctor, and should they continue on that path or take another route?

4. PUBLIC SPEAKER.

The inevitable world of presentations: From presenting patient cases to your superiors, to presenting mortality figures to the whole hospital, to talking about Diabetes to the old men at church, you really can't escape this.

5. DISPUTE RESOLVER.

Somehow, you're expected to have the solution to any dispute that the courts can't provide, e.g this post about a lady who had two boyfriends and didn't know which was the father.


6. PHILANTROPIST.

Your name is kept at the top of any event, and the reason why is so you can donate your hard earned cash. I was once asked to donate a public utility in my locality; you can guess my reply.

7. SOOTHSAYER.

"Doctor, will I survive?" "Doctor, will I walk again?" "Doctor, will this tablet work?"


8. DETECTIVE.

So many mysteries will present themselves, and you're a better doctor if you can solve them, an example is this case where the Lady was found dead in a room, with the door locked on the outside.

Image courtesy

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

HOW COME DOCTORS KNOW EVERYTHING?





Have you ever wondered how a doctor seems to have a prescription for everything?

You have a headache- Bam! Take this!

You have a fever- Bam! Take two tablets of this.

Your urine looks funny- Bam! This should clear you up.

Amazing right? So what is the secret to this superhuman ability?

1. COMMON THINGS OCCUR COMMONLY.

You might think your case is unique, but a doctor who has practiced for a short time has probably seen hundreds of such cases; just like driving a car, treating that case has become a part of the doctor, he can treat it while asleep.

2. THE POWER OF DIFFERENTIAL DIAGNOSIS.

Several illnesses present the same way, and it could be one of a group of possibilities. Whichever the doctor thinks it is, he may follow that line of management.

3. WELL, YOU NEED TO DO SOME TESTS.

This is a sure get out clause, giving the doctor time to consult his notes; who wouldn't agree to some tests to help get at the root of a problem?

4. HEY FRED, COME AND TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.

The power of a second opinion- Who wouldn't want two doctors taking out time to see one patient.

5. SOMETIMES, TESTS COME WITH ANSWERS.

Tests like Microscopy, culture and sensitivity come with recommended drugs to use, leaving the physician to take all the credit.

6. THE SYMPTOMATIC APPROACH.

Pain = analgesic; Fever = anti-pyretic (anti-fever); Malaria= anti-malarial. (You didn't hear that from me.)

7. WATCH AND SEE.

The conservative approach- Who wouldn't want his doctor to say, "It's probably nothing, it will go in a few days. Well, if it hasn't gone in a few days, the doctor would have at least read about it.

8. AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS...

Well, uhm...Kindly give me a minute, I need to check something.

So, have you ever come across a doctor who didn't know everything?

DAY 2: How Will I know I have Pelvic Inflammatory Disease?

Why all this fuss about PID? What is the big deal about it? It is important because it can lead to infertility or damage to a woman'...