Friday, July 20, 2012

HUMOR - COUNTDOWN TO BRAZIL 2014 - LETTER TO MY PATIENTS.




Dear Patients ,

How are you?

You know I care so much about you , that is why I am taking out time to write you this note.

As we all know, the World Cup is around the corner - I feel it is necessary we are all prepared for some changes that will occur during the events, I have thought long and hard before coming to the following conclusions:

1.COMPLAINTS

Make your complaints brief and to the point. I am really not interested in your family and social history.


2. LENGTH OF SICKNESS .

If you have been sick for over 5 days and are just coming for the first time, another 2 hour wait for the TV highlights to end will not kill you.


3. PATIENTS ON THE WARD.

You are advised to keep arms that have IV lines ABSOLUTELY still during the period of any match I am watching, as any tissued lines will not be reset.


4. PREGNANT WOMEN.

I have a soft spot for you.

If you know your Expected Date of Delivery falls on a day my country has an important match, kindly come to me now for some quick tips on self delivery( items needed: warm towels and really sharp scissors or garden shears.)




5. INJURIES.

- Except your head is cut off, be satisfied with a bandage for any...and I mean any kind of injury.


6. CONSULTATION TIME.

now for any kind of complaint is one minute, if you feel you need to talk more, I will be glad to refer you elsewhere...


7. PATIENTS AND NURSES

- The fact that I am watching the TV on the wards does not mean I came in for consultations...


8. PEOPLE WITH JUST ONE

of the following symptoms will not be seen:

1.Inability to sleep. .

2.Headache.

3.Cough or catarrh.

4. Lack of appetite.

5. Pain
....(Please note that pain and agony are not the same thing) .

The aforementioned should go to their local Pharmacy.


9. If you suddenly see me jump up and start dancing while consulting, don't think your doctor has run mad - it's a goallll!


Thank you for your support.

Signed
Your Football loving Doctor.

Image 1: premium times

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14 comments:

  1. Ahhh! Doctor, it is not fair o!

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  2. Am I to gather this post is about you? :o]

    Enjoy and here's hoping for some 'gold' moments for you!

    Anna :o]

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  3. Thank you Anna, though I stopped being a serious sports fan several years ago.

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  4. LWKM ='))) "garden shears" ='))) thats super mean but super funny... iLove this post <3 =')))

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  5. Haba, doki go on leave na. Which wan?!

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  6. Really funny, what is that saying again, forewarned is forearmed.

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  7. Thanks, a leave is not such a bad idea come to think of it.

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  8. Yes, to be fore-warned is to be fore-armed :)

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  9. This is very funny. I actually think some doctors secretly think like this at various times in the year. :-)

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  10. I can confidently say they do, especially during Champions League and Premiership seasons. Thanks Anne.

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  11. Hilarious! Stopping by from the Medical Monday BlogHop

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