Sunday, February 26, 2012

How Doctors And Patients Speak Different Languages



CALL DUTY

Doctor: Time at work to stretch out a bit and work at a more leisurely pace.
Patient: Time when doctor can and must be bothered by all minor complaints ranging from a scratch to a bruise.


YOUR COMPLAINT

Doctor: A simple statement saying why you are in the hospital.
Patient: Something akin to a police report beginning with," it all started while i was sleeping...."


FEVER

Doctor: A rise in temperature.
Patient: Any odd feeling.


EMERGENCY

Doctor: A condition that may lead to death without prompt attention.
Patient: Anything that makes you come to the hospital instead of staying home to watch tv.


PALENESS

Doctor: A look associated with reduced quantity of blood.
Patient: A look associated with being ill.


PAIN

Doctor: An estimate of the level of distress a condition causes.
Patient: Any discomfort.


INSOMNIA

Doctor: Significant inability to sleep for a period of time.
Patient: Not falling asleep immediately after supper.


ALCOHOL

Doctor: Anything that contains alcohol.
Patient: Only those drinks that make you drunk.


STETHOSCOPE

Doctor: An uncomfortable instrument for listening to the chest and heart.
Patient: A cool instrument that immediately tells what is wrong with you.


DISCHARGED

Doctor: Time to go home and continue management not necessarily healed.
Patient: Healed! No more business with the hospital.


VISITING TIME

Doctor : Time for relatives to visit the patient.
Patient : Time for relatives to interrogate the doctor.


Any more definitions you can think of?

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